


what happened to us?

by jhopefulyoongi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Breaking Up & Making Up, Comfort Sex, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, Implied Sexual Content, Insecurity, Jeon Wonwoo is a Great Friend, Loneliness, M/M, Post-Coital Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-25 02:19:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14368791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhopefulyoongi/pseuds/jhopefulyoongi
Summary: “I think Hao and I are drifting apart,” Junhui said right before they were about to turn into bed.Wonwoo took out his other headphone and turned to look at his best friend in bewilderment. “Where the hell did that just come from?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i told myself i wasn't gonna write anything else until the end of the semester and just read an actual book to relax a bit before final essays and exams etc but here i am~ a junhao idea that wouldnt leave me alone

“I think Hao and I are drifting apart,” Junhui said right before they were about to turn into bed. 

Wonwoo took out his other headphone and turned to look at his best friend in bewilderment. “Where the hell did that just come from?” 

To Wonwoo’s shock, Junhui suddenly burst into tears and covered his eyes up with the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Wonwoo was pretty certain the sweatshirt-almost dark pumpkin orange and splashed with paint-belonged to Minghao, but he went and sat next to Junhui immediately, putting an arm around Junhui and letting him cling to his t-shirt. Wonwoo hadn't noticed but Junhui has been holding back tears for most of the day, leaving his eyes red-rimmed and stinging, going off to stand in corners by himself to wipe at his eyes when they got particularly wet.

“We don't spend any time together anymore,” Junhui told him, as Wonwoo wiped Junhui’s cheeks with the corner of the hotel duvet before thinking better of it and dropping the duvet back down with a suspicious glance. “I can't even remember the last time we spent time together, just the two of us. Even talking, it feels like it's been forever since we just sat down and talked to one another let alone kissing or s-sex or anything like that.” Another sob erupted from Junhui’s throat as he admitted to Wonwoo, “I don’t think Minghao loves me anymore, Wonu.” 

“Of course he does,” Wonwoo tried to assure Junhui, patting his shoulder. 

“He never-he doesn't even try to spend time together anymore, he always runs off with Mingyu whenever he has the chance, even when we get to pick who we go with or when we have free time.”

“Mingyu’s his best friend,” Wonwoo reminded Junhui patiently, now reaching up to pat his hair instead. 

“I know that. Of course, I want Minghao to spend time with and go out with his friends, especially Mingyu, since they're so close, but..” Junhui trailed off, straightening up and tearing a tissue from the box on the nightstand, mopping up his wet face. “Do you think...he's having an affair?” 

Wonwoo nearly choked on his own tongue. “Minghao and Mingyu having an affair? Are you crazy, Jun?” Wonwoo nearly rolled his eyes and outright laughed but then he got sight of Junhui. Looking into Junhui’s wide and bloodshot eyes, Wonwoo let out a sigh when he realized it was a real concern of his friend, even if it was just a product of his own insecurity, it was a genuine fear. Which meant, as his best friend, Wonwoo had to comfort and reassure him, no matter how ludicrous he thought it was. “You really think either of them would ever do that to you? Minghao loves you and so does Mingyu.” 

“You're right,” Junhui said after a moment of quiet thought. “I’m just...being stupid, I guess.”

“You are not stupid,” Wonwoo refused immediately. “You’re just insecure.” 

Junhui laughed and wiped at the latest fountain of tears. “Everyone always thinks I’m so confident about everything, but when it comes to Hao…” Junhui trailed off once again and his bottom lip started to tremble. Wonwoo was quick to cut in and distract him before he could upset himself some more,

“Everyone gets insecure Junhui, even the most beautiful person in Seventeen,” Wonwoo looked Junhui meaningfully in the eyes before continuing, “Yup, that's right, even I get insecure somet-” Wonwoo broke into laughter as Junhui swatted at him with a pillow. 

“Shut up!” 

“I’m kidding, our pretty flower boy~” Wonwoo cooed, pinching Junhui on the cheek. Junhui swatted at his hand with a pout and Wonwoo grinned before laying down next to Junhui on the bed. “Don't think too much about it for the rest of tonight, get some sleep, and talk about it with Minghao tomorrow, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, you know that.” 

…

“Who wants to sit with who?” One of the managers asked before they leave the hotel, their plane tickets tucked into a folder. 

“Us!” Jeonghan yelled out, raising his and Seokmin’s locked hands before they trotted forward to get their tickets. Watching them go with a scowl, Seungcheol intertwined his hand with Jisoo’s and dragged him over to collect their tickets without a word. Wonwoo looked on curiously, maybe there was trouble with more than one couple within the group. Or trio, rather, since Seungcheol was pouting into Jisoo’s shoulder with his back to Jeonghan, Jisoo counseling him over their boyfriend's betrayal with gentle kisses to the forehead. 

“I want to sit together with Hao Hao~” Junhui happily piped up from Wonwoo’s side, turning his glittering eyes onto his boyfriend hopefully. Before the manager could reach Junhui to hand him their tickets, Minghao interrupted. 

“Huh? Jun hyung, we never sit on the plane together, I already said I’m sitting with Mingyu anyways.” Minghao said, not even looking up from his phone. 

“B-but-”

The manager turned instead to hand Mingyu both his own and Minghao’s tickets and then moved onto the next pair. 

Wonwoo wanted to throttle Minghao right then and there. But before he could, Soonyoung tackled him from behind, wrapping his arms enthusiastically around his waist and kissing him on the shoulder, and before Wonwoo could give Soonyoung any heads up as to the situation, he was loudly declaring that he and Wonwoo would sit together and take their tickets. By the time Wonwoo could look at Junhui again, his best friends eyes were still glittering, but with tears rather than hope, and he was already being set up to the be extra to sit with one of the managers. 

Hansol, who had gotten claimed by Seungkwan, followed Wonwoo’s gaze and seemed to quickly realize that something was off with the hyung that normally dotted on him adoringly, but before he could say anything, Seungkwan was herding him out the door and into one of the vans. 

Xu Minghao should thank the stars that Wonwoo was not put in the same van as him on the way to the airport. 

…

Junhui slept-or at least pretended to-the entire trip, a sleeping mask covering his eyes and a mask over his mouth and nose as he faced the window, his hood up and shadowing his face, and headphones stuffed firmly into his ears, Wonwoo wouldn't have been able to talk to him even if they had sat close, as Junhui made it more than clear he wanted to be left alone.

When Soonyoung sat down next to him, a smile on his face and snacks for them tucked into his hands, his smile instantly died when he saw the dark glare Wonwoo was sending his way. 

“Babe?” Soonyoung asked. 

Wonwoo’s mouth set angrily. 

“Baby?” Soonyoung asked with a nervous laugh. 

“I was going to ask Junhui to sit with me,”

“Huh? Oh yeah, he can-”

“It’s too late now,” Wonwoo sighed, slumping in his seat. “He’s so upset, he’s probably gonna cry the whole way there.” 

Soonyoung watched him huff for a moment and then he said. “Sorry?”

“No, no, I’m sorry, I shouldn't have gotten mad at you.” Wonwoo sighed and reached for Soonyoung’s hand. “I’m just worried about Junhui.” 

Soonyoung intertwined their fingers together and turned his body to face Wonwoo. “Tell me about it, you’re obviously upset.” 

“Well first of all-” 

…

Walking through the new hotel lobby, shoulders slumped and feeling totally defeated and more than a little devastated, Junhui nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt someone loop their arm around his. He turned to look, and felt stupid when he realized a part of him had hoped it was Minghao. Soonyoung smiled up at him, even when the look on Junhui’s face made his heartache, as Wonwoo appeared on Junhui’s other side. Neither of them said much of anything, but it was reassuring just to have them with him, people who cared. 

And yet, a part of him just wanted Minghao next to him, even if he didn't get to have anyone else on his side. 

“So, Minghao,” Soonyoung began in the elevator, having a few members look at him curiously. “Who are you rooming with?” 

“Mingyu, of course. We already talked about it yesterday.” 

Aren't...aren't you supposed to talk about things like that with your boyfriend as well, though? Junhui thought. Of course, he didn't expect Minghao to always room with him….but it had been a few months since they had, he always seemed to pair off with Mingyu. It just wasn't fair. 

He had made so many efforts, not only today but all the days before it, to be ignored or avoided or side step, brushed to the side, as if he was nothing to his boyfriend of over a year, and friend of many years. Standing there, the doors just a second or two from opening up, Junhui couldn't take it anymore, and he said the most drastic thing he could imagine.

“Minghao,” he said, voice loud and firm, making Minghao look away from Mingyu to him. Mingyu looked curiously at him, and so did Wonwoo and the other members crammed into the elevator. 

The doors dinged and slid open. 

“Let's break up,” he said, and then he walked out of the elevator, his room key in hand and leaving everyone behind him, jaws on the floor and their eyes blown wide. They all stood there for so long, stunned into a silence, that Jisoo had to reach out and stop the doors from closing before he took Seungcheol’s hand and led him off. 

“What?” Minghao said, so feebly and shaken that even Wonwoo felt bad for him.


	2. Chapter 2

Minghao sat at the head of the bed, unmoving and staring straight at the wall across from him. Originally, Wonwoo had followed into the room to give him a piece of his mind, since Junhui wasn't letting anyone in his room, but now he sat at the bay window seat, Soonyoung, and Mingyu on either side of him, feeling just as concerned and mildly anxious for Minghao as the rest of the trio. Mingyu had spent a good twenty minutes, poking and prodding at Minghao, yelling at him to try to get him to look at him, all to no avail. Wonwoo didn't know what reaction from Minghao he had been expecting, but it certainly wasn't this.

 

He had a glazed over look in his eyes that Wonwoo had never seen, and his hands were laid out, stiff and still, unmoving in his lap. For all the time spent staring, Wonwoo didn't think he had even seen Minghao blank. He appeared to be in some kind of horrible trance, though Wonwoo didn't know if it was from the shock of being broken up with or the apparent loss of the acclaimed “love of his life”, though he suspected it was a mixture of both.

 

The door opened up, and the three sitting together all looked, Minghao still unresponsive. Seriously, the three of them were starting to wonder if they should get a manager or maybe even a doctor.

 

Jihoon walked in, took one look at Minghao, and then turned to ask Wonwoo. “Whats wrong with him?”

 

“Jun...broke up with him,” Mingyu answered when Wonwoo didn't respond. Jihoon had been in the elevator with them when it happened, so why was he asking, wasn't it obvious what was wrong with him?

 

“Yeah, I know,” Jihoon said. “That wasn't what I meant.” Jihoon apparently didn't feel the need to explain what he had actually meant and instead walked over towards the bed, sitting at the edge of the bed, looking over his shoulder at Minghao’s blank expression and glossy eyes.

 

“Hey,” Jihoon called to Minghao, not seeming surprised when he got no response. Well, none that was audible, Minghao _did_ finally blink, but he didn't open his mouth or even his eyes to look at Jihoon. Jihoon stared at Minghao for a good minute or two before he got up and walked around the bed to the three at the window, squishing himself between Wonwoo and Soonyoung and touching Wonwoo’s arm so he would look down at him.

 

“Go try again with, Junnie,” Jihoon said, and Wonwoo didn't know if he imagined it, but he thought he saw Minghao’s ears perk up at the sound of Junhui’s adoring nickname from the other members. “I’m going to try to get through to Minghao, but Junhui needs someone right now. Needs you, I think, none of the rest of us can get through to him.”

 

Wonwoo had made a small attempt right after Junhui had closed the door, but then he had seen Mingyu pushing Minghao into their room and had followed after them out of anger. He gave a silent nod and shared an understanding look with Soonyoung that his boyfriend would stay there while he went to Jun, and then he left the room.

 

When he went out into the hallway, Jeonghan and Seungkwan were at Junhui’s door, Jisoo and Seungcheol standing a few paces behind them. Seungcheol had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and Jisoo had a hand on his hip.

 

“Took you long enough,” Jeonghan said when he spotted Wonwoo, more out of anxiety than from any type of venom. “He won't even respond to us, but you might work.”

 

Wonwoo nodded in understanding. Out of all of them, he was likely the best at getting through to Junhui (besides Minghao) and maybe Hansol. But Wonwoo didn't see the youngest of the hip-hop unit anywhere, so that meant it was up to him and him alone. Besides, Wonwoo had been up to date with things since the beginning of all this, and Hansol had not, so maybe it was for the rest.

 

“Come on, Seungcheol,” Jeonghan said to his older boyfriend. “You can room with Seokminnie and I for the night.”

 

Seungcheol made a loud ‘hmph’ sound and even stomped his foot in a way Wonwoo had never seen anyone do outside of a drama, and then marched into one of the open doors, pulling Jisoo along after him. Wonwoo took that to mean that Seungcheol was taking a pass on Jeonghans offer and would be rooming with Jisoo and whoever he was paired with for the night.

 

“What's wrong with Cheolie?” Jeonghan asked.

 

“You’re so clueless, hyung,” Seungkwan said with a sigh.

 

“What?” Jeonghan asked, but he followed Seungkwan down the hallway and slid out of sight, leaving Wonwoo to stand alone outside of Junhui’s room. Before he made to knock or give Junhui any other clue that he was there, he gently leaned up against it and pressed his ear against the hardwood, heart sinking when he heard the heartbreaking sniffles and broken sobs coming from the other side of the door.

 

Backing away slightly, Wonwoo gave a gentle knock and heard the sobs and sniffles cut themselves off.

 

“Junnie,” Wonwoo said. “It’s me, can I please come in? I just want to make sure you're okay.”

 

There was a long pause where Wonwoo worried that Junhui would simply ignore him and stay locked in his room for the rest of the night, maybe even into tomorrow, maybe even refusing to come out for the concert-which Wonwoo knew wouldn't happen, if anything, performing would get Junhui to come out-but after a moment he heard the light tread of Junhui’s feet and stepped back when the door handle twisted and Junhui peeked out at him.

 

“Come in,” Junhui said, before rushing back into the room. Wonwoo stepped inside and made sure to close the door behind him so no one else could try to sneak in. If he made any progress with Junhui, he knew it would be ruined if anyone was to interrupt them.

 

The room looked like an explosion of Minghao, with Junhui wrapped up in the middle of it all. After looking around, Wonwoo realized Junhui had spread out everything Minghao had given him that he had with him around the room, but he was once again wrapped up in that paint splattered orange sweatshirt, and his favorite calico cat plush from Minghao captured tightly in his grasp.

 

He gently moved an almost finished vanilla blossom candle further up the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed, making sure not to sit on the shirts and blanket Junhui had made his nest out of, only going near them when he leaned over them to hand Junhui a wad of tissues.

 

“What happened there, Junnie?” Wonwoo asked him after a moment of silence.

 

“I don't know,” Junhui croaked out. “I didn't-I didn't even think about it, I didn't plan on saying that o-or anything else, but all of a sudden I was just so, so tired of everything, and I was so angry and frustrated, suddenly I just couldn't take it anymore and it just all came out,” Junhui looked at Wonwoo, a desperate gleam in his eyes. “But I didn't mean it Wonwoo, I didn't, and now-” Junhui’s voice slipped and he sobbed out, “But now I went and said it and my Hao Hao is gone forever!” Junhui wailed and threw himself down onto the bed, collecting Minghao’s shirts and gifted blanket into a ball and dragging them towards himself to bury his face in.

 

“No, he's not,” Wonwoo said.

 

Junhui peeked up at Wonwoo with watery eyes and said, “What?”

 

Wonwoo rolled his eyes and leaned back on his hands. “What? Did you really think that breaking up with Minghao would make him happy or something? That he would skip down the hallway and take Mingyu in his arms and run away with him or something like that?”

 

“I don't know,” Junhui said softly. “Maybe.”

 

“I’ve never seen Minghao so miserable,” Wonwoo told Junhui. “He hasn't said a single word or moved a muscle, but you can just tell by looking at him-you took a huge piece of him when you just said that and just walked away.”

 

A new swell of tears built up in Junhui’s eyes and started piling over and he rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling as he whimpered. “I made my Minghao sad?”

 

“Of course you did,” Wonwoo. “I told you, Jun, he might have made some mistakes, but he absolutely adores you.”

 

“But he wasn't-I was trying so hard, and he wouldn't even give me a chance to talk to him.”

 

“I know,” Wonwoo said. “Soonyoung and I were going to go ahead and corner him and send him on his way to you, but you snapped before we got the chance.”

 

Junhui sat up and curled around the calico cat once more, moping at the slow river of tears on either of his cheeks, though he had stopped sobbing for the moment.

 

“I ruined everything,” Junhui said, softly, more to himself than to Wonwoo.

 

“Don't say that,” Wonwoo said, out of his own genuine belief instead of his simple duty as a friend. “The two of you can still fix this.”

 

And then, as if Wonwoo’s words were the narratives intro to the last act of the play and the curtains were set to open, a knock came from the other side of the door and Minghao’s hesitant voice followed after it, “Junhui?”

 

…

 

“Do you want me to let him in?” Wonwoo asked Junhui.

 

“I don't know what to say to him,” Junhui whisper yelled back, looking frantic. “What if I ruin things even more?”

 

“You won't,” Wonwoo assured him, taking a moment to give Junhui’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Just talk to him, tell him how you've been feeling, all of it.”

 

Another knock, just as soft as the last one, and the hesitant voice came a beat after. “Can we talk?”

 

Wonwoo looked at Junhui and waited for confirmation. It was only when he nodded that Wonwoo gave him a hug, telling him one more time that everything would work out before he got up and walked towards the door.

 

“Jihoon worked his magic, I guess,” Wonwoo said, looking at the crown of Minghao’s head, as his head was lowered, eyes pointed downwards to stare at the tips of his leather shoes.

 

“Yeah,” Minghao answered back quietly.

 

Wonwoo took a deep breath to settle himself. “You can go in and talk to him, I’ll leave the two of you alone.”

 

Minghao nodded and as Wonwoo walked passed him he took a moment to place a comforting hand on his shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance, trying to silently tell him that it would likely all be okay. Wonwoo had faith in the two of them, Junhui and Minghao, and even though they might have faced problems for reasons still unknown, Wonwoo believed that if anyone could work through this, it was them.

 

Wonwoo now gone, Minghao stood there outside the room, the door cracked open and anxiety rolling around in his stomach, and the thing that gave him the strength to enter was the soft voice from within, gently coaxing him.

 

“You can come in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i know i said this was gonna be a two-parter but. i lied. but it was UNINTENTIONAL lying. i started writing this second part and realized just how much of this world i still wanted to write and expand on which means now there's gonna be three parts (probably only 3) fgfdfhhdhgghdhf pls forgive me


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im still technically on hiatus, but since i got one of my essays done, i thought i would cut the final chapter in half and give you all this part. After reading it over, i thought it would be better if it was its own chapter anyways. jun and haos talk will likely be posted on may 3rd or 4th

“You asked Junhui out two weeks before we came back with Pretty U,” Jihoon said, after the four of them sat in silence for over 5 minutes after Wonwoo left the room. “A week into the promotions, Junhui came into my room and told me that the two of you were boyfriends and were an ‘official thing now.’” All that Jihoon was saying was true, but neither Mingyu or Soonyoung could understand why JIhoon was replaying such events to Minghao. “Do you know how I felt when he told me that?” Jihoon asked Minghao, who was still in his daze. _That_ confused them even further, but before any thoughts could be voiced, Jihoon continued, answering his own question. “I was crushed, heartbroken, I wrote about fifty songs about how sad I was and scraped them all before they could even go under Bumzu hyungs eyes, but I never said a word. “ Jihoon took a heavy, pained breath, as if every word was scraping over the healed scars of wounds nearly two years old. “Do you know why I never said anything, Minghao?” Jihoon asked, and seemed unpleased when he didn't get a response right away. “Dammit, look at me!” Jihoon demanded.

 

Amazingly, Minghao’s eyes snapped away from the wall and flew to look back at Jihoon’s unwavering, steel gaze.

 

“I never said anything,” Jihoon continued, “Because even though you were some noodle legged kid with a twelve year olds picture day hairstyle, you made Junhui happy, he was always smiling, he laughed more, his eyes glittered, you made him so happy, that's all that mattered to me, so I never said anything.” Jihoon leaned forward towards Minghao. “But you don't make him happy anymore,” Jihoon told Minghao, in a whisper. “He’s miserable and sad, he cries all the time, and its _because of you._ Even if my feelings aren't what they used to be two years ago, I don't like to see Junnie unhappy.” Jihoon sprang forward, grabbing Minghao by the collar and dragging him down with such force that Mingyu lept out of his seat, ready to get between the two of them.

 

“Sit down, Mingyu,” Jihoon snapped at him. “He needs to hear this.”

 

With hesitation, Mingyu sat back down, watching Jihoon and Minghao somehow even more closely then he had been before.

 

“So either you go the fuck in to that room and you make him happy again like you used to, or I’ll take him from you. I know I can have him if I wanted to, Junhui could fall in love with me, I know that, and I think you know that to.” Jihoon laughed bitterly and let Minghao go. “You knew, didn't you? You knew all along how I felt.”

 

To the rest of the rooms surprise, Minghao spoke. “Of course I did,” Minghao said. “You looked at him just like I did, and he looked at both of us...almost the same, I knew I had to get to him first. If I didn't, I would lose my chance.”

 

“Something can still happen between the two of us, Junhui and I-”

 

“No,” Minghao almost growled. “H-Jun’s _mine_.”

 

“Not anymore though, right?” Jihoon taunted him, getting him all worked up and knowing it. “He broke up with you, he’s not _your Jun_ anymore, he’s not anyone’s Jun. But he could be, he could be mine-”

 

“SHUT UP!” Even when the realization of how disrespectful he had just acted hit Minghao, he didn't apologize, or backtrack, he swallowed thickly and glared down at Jihoon, who was looking at him with the most smug of expressions.

 

“I guess it still bothers you,” Jihoon said, calmly. “Maybe I was wrong, maybe a part of you _does_ have some love for him left.”

 

“Every part of me loves him,” Minghao snapped.

 

“You sure as hell don't act like it.”

 

“I-that's because-that's really not any of your business, hyung!”

 

“Even if nothing ever happens between us,” Jihoon said. “Junhui will always be one of my best friends, I’ll always care about him, so I’m going to make it be my business, because we both know Junhui isn't all that good at standing up for himself, that's why he never said a word while you neglected him for so long.”

 

“I didn't-”

 

“He wanted your love!” Jihoon was suddenly the one shouting. “Nothing else, he just wanted you to love him. That's the easiest thing anyone could ever do, it's impossible not to love him, and yet, somehow, you-”

 

“I didn't know, okay?” Even Jihoon was shocked by Minghaos sudden onslaught of tears. “I didn't even realize-I would never hurt him on purpose. I….I, no, I did know.” Minghao fisted at the sheets harshly as the light in his eyes shifted and he spat out, “I know what I did was wrong, I know I fucked up, I know I should have thought of him more and spent more time with him, I know, I know, I know!” Minghao’s shoulders slumped and he buried his face into his hands. “I’m such a horrible person,” Minghao sobbed, and that's when Jihoon’s act dropped, and he rested a hand gently on the back of Minghao’s exposed neck.

 

“No, you're not.” Jihoon said. “You’re not a bad person, nowhere even close to that, and you know it too.”

 

“I know everything today, it seems.” Minghao laughed bitterly.

 

Jihoon leaned back and said, “I’m sorry I said all that, some of it was ready fucked up and unfair.”

 

“I deserved it.” Minghao muttered.

 

“Not really,” Jihoon said. “But you staring at the wall because you were so shocked and depressed wasn't going to fix anything. None of us can live without Junhui’s smiles, I’m already going thru withdrawal, and fortunately or unfortunately, the one who makes him smile the brightest is you.”

 

Minghao straightened up and then tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling as he blinked away the last of his tears, groaning in frustration at the salty sting.

 

“You _do_ want to fix things, right?” Soonyoung suddenly spoke. “You still love him, don't you?”

 

“As much as I always have.” Minghao answered.

 

“Then go ahead and act like it, will you?” Mingyu piped up as well. “Seriously, I feel like I’m the one dating you recently or something.” His face wrinkled up in distaste at the mere thought and Minghao bore a similar expression that made both Soonyoung and Jihoon burst out laughing.

 

Dropping the expressions that were, of course, done out of nothing but a mutual understanding of a silent joke, Mingyu and Minghao stared at one another for a moment before Mingyu went on to say, “Go in there and talk to him, let him know how much you love him, tell him that you're going to do better from now on,”

 

“I need my daily Jun smile back,” Jihoon said, completely serious, and that seemed to be the end of his contribution to the issue at hand.

 

Minghao got up from the bed and went towards the door without another word, but before he could get very far, Soonyoung intercepted him. Before he could say a word of protest, Soonyoung pulled him into the bathroom were they wouldn't be disturbed and looked at him seriously.

 

“Hyung,” Minghao began. “I understand if you feel like I’m not-”

 

“I don't feel like that at all.” Soonyoung said. “Every relationship has problems, sometimes you end up hurting one another without meaning to, and that doesn't mean that you should just give up, or that you shouldn't give the relationship another try, no, what I meant to tell you is this.” Soonyoung moved his body so his back was up against the bathroom door, creating a extra barrier.

 

“Those two gave you good advice,” Soonyoung started. “But as another person in a relationship, I thought I could give you another piece of advice that's even more important.”

 

“Of course,” Minghao said at once. “Anything.”

 

“You have a lot to say to Junnie, and its important,” Soonyoung said, holding him by the arm and making Minghao look him in the eyes. “But listening to what _he_ has to say is just as important, even more. He was the one who was hurt, so listen to him when and if he tells you how he feels, and don't interrupt, just listen.”

 

Minghao nodded, but then said, “I mean I don't doubt that at all, but how do you know that, hyung?”

 

“Like I said, you punk,” Soonyoung said, rolling his eyes. “I _am_ in a relationship, and have been for years. But,” A bit of pain, no, regret, blossomed in Soonyoung’s eyes as he smiled bitterly. “Wonwoo and I aren't perfect either, we all make mistakes at some point.”

 

…

 

It wasn't expected, but when he was left alone with Mingyu, the air turned thick and awkward. Jihoon rolled onto his stomach before sitting up and looking over to Mingyu, who had curled himself into a ball on the window seat, his long legs pulled up as closely to his chest as he could get them, his lengthy arms wrapped around his knees.

 

“What's wrong?” Jihoon asked him, softly.

 

“Nothing,” Mingyu said, immediately.

 

Jihoon didn't say anything for a moment, deciding instead to quietly observe Mingyu. He certainly looked upset, but Jihoon could tell he was trying his hardest to try not to look it. He blinked rapidly and tilted his head up, clearing his throat and busying himself by grabbing his nearby water and taking a few forced sips.

 

“Were you lying before?” Jihoon asked bluntly. “Do you actually like Minghao?”

 

Mingyu looked at Jihoon as if he had just suggested they go paragliding at the top of Mount Everest in the winter season.

 

“Of course not.” Mingyu said, before turning away from him.

 

“What's bothering you then?” Jihoon asked once more.

 

Mingyu was quiet and Jihoon didn't think he was going to get an answer, but suddenly, Mingyu piped up from his seat, back towards Jihoon and looking out the window where a light drizzle of rain had started to hit the window.

 

“Are you still in love with Junnie hyung?” Mingyu asked.

 

“Not anymore,” Jihoon answered, patient. “Not like I once was." 

 

“Did you mean it?” Mingyu asked, not holding back now but still looking out the window. “When you said...you could love him again.”

 

“Maybe,” Jihoon said. “I don't know. I think so. Junnie isn't hard to love, is he?”

 

“No, you're right.” Mingyu laughed, and it sounded bitter and rough. “He’s too easy to fall in love with, isn't he?” Of course, he didn't say it out loud, but it clicked all too easily in Jihoon’s mind and he suddenly understood.

 

“You-”

 

“It was a long time ago,” Mingyu said firmly. “Don't tell Minghao.” Mingyu shifted in his seat. “Because they had started dating, the three of us were spending a lot of time together, and it just kind of happened. But like you...I never said anything about it, and that's fine, I don't feel that way anymore.”

 

“Then what are you so upset about?” Jihoon asked with a sigh.

 

“I’m not-I…” Mingyu trailed off. “Can't you love someone else? Besides Junhui, can't you see yourself falling for someone else?”

 

He would have liked to pretend that he had no idea what Mingyu might have meant, but Jihoon did. He thought it over, and was surprised when he didn't feel any discomfort or uncertainty about it.  The feelings weren't there, not really, but they could be.

 

Mingyu turned around and Jihoon wasn't shocked to see that he had tears covering his face. “You're not that hard to fall in love with either, hyung.” Mingyu said, a pained smile stretching across his lovely features.

 

Jihoon found that it hurt him to see Mingyu upset, so it was easy enough for him to get up and walk towards him, feeling bad when Mingyu flinched slightly. But he didn't stop, and instead sat near to him and reached out to touch his face.

 

Mingyu pulled away from him, worry crossing his eyes, but Jihoon shushed him, comforted him without words and Mingyu allowed for Jihoon to gently cup his face and wipe his face clean of the hot tears that had burned his skin.

 

“You should have told me earlier,” Jihoon said. “We could have tried this much sooner, and you wouldn't have had to cry like this.”

 

“Try what?” Mingyu asked, confused.

 

Jihoon made sure to hold eye contact with Mingyu as he said, “I don't think you’re a very hard person to love either, Mingyu.”

 

“Hyung-”

 

Jihoon hooked a finger underneath his chin and pulled Mingyu towards him slowly, and he could hear as the breath caught in Mingyu’s throat, and allowed the younger to take the last few centimeters between their lips. Mingyu’s lips were trembling, but Jihoon kissed him gently, sweet, as if he was already in love with him.

 

“I like kissing you,” Jihoon muttered when they pulled apart. “Your mouth is cute.” He pulled back, just enough to look Mingyu in the eyes again before he continued. “I think I want to kiss you again,” he said. “Would you let me, Mingyu? Would you let me see if I can love you?”

 

Perhaps it was a cruel question, but it was done out of mercy. He didn't want to fool Mingyu into thinking he already had feelings for him. Rather, he wanted to give him the full truth, and give him as much a part in this idea that he had as he did himself.

 

“Please,” Mingyu said, voice hoarse. “Please, hyung, try to love me.”

 

“I think I will,” Jihoon said, honestly, and then kissed Mingyu gently again.

 

They heard the bathroom door open and pulled apart. Neither Soonyoung nor Minghao looked towards them, and instead Soonyoung simply called over his shoulder to them, “Minghao is gonna talk to Jun, and I'm gonna go to my room with Wonwoo, you guys good?”

 

Mingyu and Jihoon looked at one another, and they both said. “Yeah, yeah, we’re good.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this is a little later then i said it would be out and im sorry. i explained on twt that bc of the heat i was barely getting any sleep and couldnt concentrate so i was having a hard time writing. but it cooled down a little, i finally got a fan in my room, and i slept for about ten hours so i was finally rested and able to finish.

Minghao was instantly overcome with memories when he walked into the room. The candle that Junhui had burning on the nightstand was a present Minghao had gotten him before they had even debuted. He didn't have much money back then, none of them did, surviving off allowance given to them by their parents, money saved up from past part-time jobs, and whatever the company fed them. It was a cheap thing he had bought for ₩2,000 with the few wrinkled bills he had in his pockets.

He remembered buying it because he thought it smelled like Junhui, a sweet, subtle floral smell that wasn't overwhelming like most cheap candles. Junhui had seemed overjoyed by the gift and hugged him so hard that he could hardly breathe.

Minghao didn't know Junhui even still had the candle, he was sure it had already been burned all the way down or lost when they had moved dorms.

The blanket that Junhui had spread across the bed. Junhui was always cold, sometimes even in late spring and early autumn. He was always shivering and huddled in his sweatshirts, Minghao had boughten the blanket for him when they were in L.A when Junhui was sick. He still remembered Junhui rubbing his cheek against it, telling him how soft and warm it was, thanking him in his sickly voice.

The arsenal of shirts that Junhui had splayed out had all at one point belonged to him. He had either given them to Junhui willingly or his boyfriend had stolen them from his closet. He always looked too cute in them for Minghao to even consider taking them back.

The orange sweatshirt Junhui was wearing was something he had given him recently. He had spent hours splattering paint _just right_ on several articles of clothing. He had done the orange sweatshirt first, and it had been laying across the floor in the sun to dry since that afternoon. Junhui had come in, shivering from the crisp early spring cold and dragging his feet in his house slippers. He rubbed at his eyes and complained that all his sweatshirts and his blanket were in the washer and wouldn't be dried for another hour or so. He said that the duvet wasn't warm enough and his arms were cold in his t-shirt, and Minghao still remembered letting out the most exasperated but endearing sigh before he grabbed the oversized sweatshirt off the floor and slipped it over Junhui’s head. Minghao had patted him on the butt and told him to go back to bed, telling him he would be joining him in just a few more minutes.

 _I never did end up going to bed, though,_ Minghao recalled, watching Junhui pull the hood over his head. Seokmin had gotten a late-night delivery of some of the things he had bought online, and instead, Minghao had gone into his room and opened them up with him, giving him some suggestions on how to style his new garments and with what. He even spent an hour or so hovering over Seokmin’s shoulder, giving him some suggestions on what to buy next. Minghao didn't get Seokmin’s online shopping habits when it came to electronics and such, but he could spend hours online shopping for clothes himself.

He hadn't even told Junhui he had decided to stay up instead. When he finally went to bed, Junhui was still up and waiting for him, his eyes red and dropping from exhaustion, but still waiting for him.

It hadn't been something as simple as spending a lot of time with Mingyu. Rather, it was that he wasn’t spending enough time with Junhui. He had been putting his boyfriend last without realizing the harm he was doing. He knew how much spending time together meant to Junhui, especially considering how little free time they had, but he hadn't even thought twice about how he could possibly be hurting his boyfriends...his _ex_ -boyfriend's feelings.

Minghao dawdled around the side of the bed, rubbing at one of his arms, his gaze fixed on the soft carpeted floor of the hotel room. His eyes followed the minimalist pattern, the thick cream swirls around the edges of the taupe center. Junhui had invited him in, but Minghao didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how close he could get, how close Junhui wanted him to get. He heard Junhui move across the sheets, a noise that he was more than accustomed to but hadn’t heard in a while. His heart startled when he saw Junhui’s long, slim fingers reach out for his own hand, the one curled around the material of his black trousers. Junhui gently uncurled each of his fingers from their holding place and smoothed them out so they laid rested against his side. Junhui’s fingertips hesitated on the skin of his hand, but eventually, he pulled his hand back.

“Sit down,” Junhui said as an invitation, but Minghao sat down so quick it was as if it had been a barked order by a higher up. He felt rather than saw Junhui’s surprise, but he sat there in silence, his hands resting his laps, fingers not daring to curl up. Junhui was quiet, and so was Minghao.

“Hao,” Junhui said sadly after a moment or two. “Why are you acting like that?”

“Like what?” Minghao asked him.

“Like a kid who got sent to the principal’s office,” Junhui said.

“I’m not,”

“You are,” Junhui said. Minghao didn’t argue with him this time, and Junhui sighed. He felt Junhui move, and when he finally looked at him, it was to find Junhui with his head in his hands, his sweater paws covering his cheeks and eyes.

“Stop,” Junhui pleated, sounding like he was going to cry and Minghao’s heart leaped up into his throat. “Stop acting like I’m holding you, prisoner, just- “He broke off and Minghao heard him swallow.

“Just what?’ Minghao asked.

“Just act like yourself,” Junhui whispered, begged of him. “I miss-I miss _you,_ I miss us. I don’t want you acting like you’re in trouble, I just want you to act like your normal self.” 

“I don’t feel like my normal self,” Minghao admitted before he could stop himself. Junhui lowered his hands and looked at him. Their eyes met, and Minghao felt the guilt and shame rattle his heart, vibrating in his chest. Junhui had the most beautiful eyes, he really did. Every part of Junhui’s face looked like it had been crafted by a higher being for years, but his eyes were the most beautiful, his drawing feature, the thing that made Minghao fall for him in the first place. Rather than their shape or size, Minghao liked the look of them. Junhui’s eyes held stars in them, twinkles pressed into the blanket of his dark brown irises that were the sky, Minghao’s sky. They always showed Minghao everything Junhui was feeling, they sparkled when Junhui laughed, they glistened when he danced, they glittered when he smiled, they shined when they made love.

He hadn’t before, but now he realized that those eyes had been dim for a while now, clouds keeping the stars hidden from the one who loved to gaze at the most. The irony being that the one who had once loved to watch was the cause of the storm of clouds rolling in and staying. Staying for so long that the clouds finally filled with rain and splattered across the dried plains of silky cheeks, a grumble of thunder escaping the clouds, finally catching the watcher’s attention, realizing the damage he had done to his beautiful starry sky.

How could Minghao feel like himself when his stars had been taken away from him? When the stars blocked themselves from him and told him not to look at them ever again.

Loving Junhui had been a part of Minghao for so long, even longer then they had been together. He was himself, but not himself. It was as if someone had reached into his chest and ripped out his soul, holding it in their hands as they tore off the pieces of Junhui. Behind was still left his passion for dancing and performing, his bonds with the members, his enjoyment of wine tasting and painting, but taken from him was Junhui, and he was reaching out for those parts, desperate to get them back, but they were locked up in a box, the key to them swinging back and forth, trapped in Junhui’s grasp.

Minghao couldn’t steal the key and take them himself, no matter how much he wanted to, it was Junhui and only Junhui who could give it to him.

“Are things really that ruined between us?” Junhui said, more to himself than to Minghao.

“No,” Minghao whispered, reaching out for Junhui’s hand before he could think not to. Before he could take his hand back and apologize, Junhui’s cold fingers wrapped around his. Their locked fingers sat in Junhui’s lap, Junhui stared down at them and Minghao stared at Junhui, watching his face closely.

“Do you feel like you can’t be yourself around me anymore?” Junhui asked him, fingers starting to tremble. “Is that why…”

“No,” Minghao said, desperately. “No, Junnie…that’s not what I meant at all. I meant…” Minghao felt embarrassed saying those words aloud. He had never been the type who could easily deliver cheesy words, even if they were genuine. “I don’t feel like myself without you.”

Minghao swallowed thickly. This was his one chance to explain himself, his one chance to try to fix things between the two of them and fix the damage that he had done. He had to allow himself to come out of his comfort zone and truly tell Junhui how he felt, explain himself, and reassure Junhui that he still loved him, that they could still be happy together.

“I-“Minghao watched as Junhui was suddenly overcome with tears, his shoulders shaking as tears ran down his face. “I don’t want us to be broken up, Minghao.” Junhui sobbed. “I just want us to be happy together, that’s all I’ve ever wanted, but I feel like I don’t make you happy anymore, I feel like I’ve become a burden to you.” Junhui made a horrible sound that ripped up Minghao’s heart and wiped at his face. “Whenever you canceled our plans or ignored my texts or brushed me off for someone or something else, I felt so worthless and unloved.”

“Junnie…”

“I just keep thinking,” Junhui choked out, not stopping. “What’s wrong with me? What did I do wrong? What did I do to push you away? What did I-“

Soonyoung had told Minghao to listen to what Junhui had felt, but it was so horrible, everything Junhui said tore him to pieces, Minghao couldn’t stop himself. He grabbed Junhui and kissed him hard on the mouth. Junhui sobbed against his lips but didn’t pull back or push him away, instead he let out a heartbreaking whimper and his cold fingers clung to the sides of Minghao’s neck, kissing him back softly with his trembling lips.

“I’m so sorry,” Minghao said, even as they kept kissing one another. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.” He said it over and over again, but he knew he could never say it enough, nothing he could say could really fix how horrible he had made Junhui feel about himself.

Minghao jolted away when Junhui reached for the buttons of his shirt. Junhui stared up at him with his beautiful, sad eyes and Minghao felt his windpipe tighten up.

“Please,” Junhui said, coming closer and Minghao didn’t move away. “Please, Hao, I want it, I want you so badly, I’ve missed you so much, please, please.” Junhui littered kisses on Minghao’s collarbones and Minghao’s hand cupped the back of his neck, sighing when Junhui nibbled on the place that always made his toes curl up.

“If you don’t want to, that’s okay,” Junhui said, pulling back. “Its okay, I just thought…no, it's okay, Hao. W-we can just talk, we _should_ just talk, I’m sorry for acting like that, that was wrong of me.” Junhui cleared his throat and moved a good foot or two away, apologizing once more for acting so suddenly.

How long had it been since he had felt the warmth of Junhui’s body? How long had it been since he had had Junhui underneath him, beautiful and shaking from his orgasm? How long had it been since he had kissed his warm skin, had made him cry from pleasure instead of pain?

Too long, Minghao thought.

“Hao?” Junhui asked when he didn’t say a word. “I’m so-“ Junhui gasped as Minghao flattened him across the bed, molding their bodies together in a way they had a hundred times, taking Junhui’s lip for his own. Junhui moaned underneath him and they undressed in a flurry of flying clothes, wandering fingers, and gasps of excitement.

“I can’t remember the last time we did that,” Junhui said after, his head pillowed by Minghao’s chest.

“Neither can I,” Minghao admitted.

He thought it may have been a week or two before they started filming _Thanks_ , but he couldn’t be sure. He was only certain that the last time had been over three months ago. Minghao realized just how long it had really been since he had spent more than an hour or two alone with Junhui. Of course, he had become lonely, of course, he had started to doubt their relationship, of course, he had begun to question himself.

The sound of the air conditioning cranking up came from the side of the room, a blast of the cold air hitting their heated bodies. Rain caused by the humidity pelted harder against the window, heard even though the curtains were pulled shut.

Saying everything had been fixed between them because they fucked would have been ludicrous, of course. They had been able to share an intimacy that they hadn’t in a long time, making them feel a bit closer to one another, vulnerable with each other in a way that they were used to, and it left Minghao, and Junhui, feeling more comforted and ready to say what they needed to say.

Minghao ran his hand up Junhui’s back, a smile stretching his lips when he felt his skin erupt with goosebumps at his touch. He ran his hand all the way up his back from his waist and then settled in his hair, running his fingers through his dyed hair.

“Junnie?” Minghao whispered, heart fluttering when he received a soft hum in response.

“Yeah?” Junhui whispered back, the room bathed in darkness except for one desk lamp that was on across the room.

“You mean everything to me,” Minghao said, staring up at the popcorn ceiling.

“When I first came here, you took care of me, you were the piece of home that I needed while getting through training, because of you, I could cope through all the hard times.” Junhui was quiet, listening to Minghao spill his guts, telling him things that he had never told Junhui before. “Mingyu is my best friend, but its because of you that we could even become best friends. Because of you, I was able to open up to the other members and make bonds with all of them. You were the one that made Seventeen become my family.

“You were always there to encourage me about everything that I could do, and everything I wanted to do, you always believed in me, no matter what. Even when I insisted I was confident already, you were still there to hype me up as much as possible and make me feel even better about myself and what I could do. Over time, I just got used to it, you being there, and I took advantage of you.

“I assumed you would be there, no matter what, no matter what I did, you would always be there, right where I had left you, waiting for me with a smile on your face.” Minghao’s shoulders started to shake and Junhui kissed them, shushing him as he ran a hand over his chest until he felt like he could go on. “I love you, Junnie,” Minghao croaked out, burying his face into Junhui’s hair and clinging to him. “I love you so much, I shouldn’t have just assumed you would be there, I should have thought of you more, but please, please never think I don’t love you, please, give me another chance to love you as much as you deserve to be loved, please, please-“

Junhui shushed him gently and Minghao cut himself off, whimpering softly into Junhui’s hair, feeling ridiculous as Junhui comforted him until the tears had dried up and he stopped shaking all over.

“It is okay,” Junhui said.

“No, it’s not.” Minghao refused.

“Okay, it’s not,” Junhui sighed. “You hurt me a lot, Hao. But what I said, I still mean it, I still want us to be together.”

“Even after hurting you so much?”

“Yes,” Junhui said, intertwining their fingers as they shifted so Junhui was laying on his shoulder again. Their hands rested on Minghao’s stomach, and they both looked at them. “You said I’m the one who always believed in you, right? Well, that hasn’t stopped. I still believe in you, and I always will.”

“I’m sorry, Jun,” Minghao said again.

“I know you are, baby,” Junhui said, kissing his jaw. “I know.”

Near silence shadowed over them again, and they shared soft kisses and quiet declarations of their love numerous more times before Minghao finally asked,

“Are we back together now?”

“I think so,” Junhui said. “But I don’t think we can just go back to the way we once were.”

“You’re right,” Minghao admitted, as much as it pained him.

“We’ll have to work back up to that level of trust again,” Junhui said, squeezing his hand. “But I know we can.”

…

Junhui was standing at the breakfast buffet the next morning when Wonwoo came up to him, holding his own plate.

“Minghao never went back to his room last night,” Wonwoo said, observing a platter of egg benedict. “I’m assuming things went well?” Junhui nodded and then Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “I would hope so, everyone heard the two of you, by the way.”

“It was a passionate reconnection,” Junhui giggled at Wonwoo’s look of disgust. “Most of the talking happened after, though.” Junhui looked to where Minghao was sitting at a table with Mingyu, the two of them seemingly having a similar conversation by the way the two of them looked towards Junhui, flushing when they saw Junhui and Wonwoo staring back at them. Junhui giggled and grabbed a mango pancake while Wonwoo sighed and shook his head.

“We talked about a lot of important things,” Junhui said as he and Wonwoo picked up their plates and walked passed Minghao and Mingyu’s table to sit with Soonyoung. “We’re giving us another try,” Junhui told the couple as he and Wonwoo sat down.

Soonyoung leaned over and gave Wonwoo a kiss on the cheek before he went back to nursing his coffee.

 “You really think it’ll work out this time?” Wonwoo asked.

Junhui locked gazes with Minghao over the rim of his cup of grapefruit juice and smiled.

“I believe in us,” Junhui said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the end~ it took a few hours but i feel like im finally content with this ending. this is the end of junhaos breaking up/making up story but idk if ill ever write anything more about this universe, but let me know if u wanted me to i guess? and i might now that the semester is ending and i have more time
> 
> im rly sorry if it was disappointing or anything to any of you 
> 
> twt: lemonjunnie (in case yall ever want fic/life updates bc im most likely to tell yall about them there)  
> tumblr: junhuui

**Author's Note:**

> second part will be posted tonight or tomorrow! thanks for reading~
> 
> also pls dont think im like attacking gyuhao and their irl friendship I LOVE THEM AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO SO MUCH, its just for fic purposes 
> 
> twt: lemonjunnie  
> tumblr: junhuui


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